Accountant Jokes

Accountancy fact: What is the difference between Liability & Asset?
A drunk friend is liability
But
A drunk Girlfriend is an Asset.

At the bank, I told the cashier, "I'd like to open a joint account please."

"Okay, with whom?"

"Whoever has lots of money."

Accountancy fact:
What is the difference between Liability & Asset?

A drunk friend is liability
But.
A drunk Girlfriend is an Asset.

Q: Why do accountants make good lovers?
A: They are great with figures!

If an accountant's wife cannot sleep, what does she say?
"Darling, could you tell me about your work."

An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. "Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night."
"Have you tried counting sheep?"
"That's the problem - I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it."

A business owner tells her friend that she is desperately searching for an accountant.
Her friend asks, "Didn't your company hire an accountant a short while ago?"
The business owner replies, "That's the accountant I've been searching for."


Why did the accountant cross the road?
To bore the people on the other side.


There are three kinds of accountants in the world
Those who can count and those who can't.



What's an actuary?
An accountant without the sense of humor



What do actuaries do to liven up their office party?
Invite an accountant.



What's a shy and retiring accountant?
An accountant who is half a million shy and that's why he's/she's retiring.



What is the difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion?
Jail.



Why do accountants make good lovers?
Ther're great with figures!


Why don't accountants read novels?
Because the only number in them are page nunbers!

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