Political Jokes

Lalu Opened a Facebook account, Posted his pictures, listed his age, address, date of birth, etc.

But he was totally confused what to write On " Wall "......

After deep thinking, he wrote :

" Yahaan Peshaab Karna Mana hain..."

Arun Jaitley's Wife casually calls him at office, one afternoon:

Wife : Kaise ho?

Arun Jaitley : Theek hoon

Wife : Aur aaj lunch mein kya khaaya?

Arun Jaitley : Tumhein bas yehi baatein karni aati hain kya??? Kya khaaya, kya piya, kaun sa song suna! I'm the Finance Minister of the country and these are working hours.....

Wife : Oh!! Ok Ok, ye batao ki how should the RBI fight these inflationary trends with minimum intervention in the money markets? And what should be the role of finance ministry in controlling inward foreign remittances???

Arun Jaitley (after few seconds silence) :

Daal chawal khaye hain..... Dahi aur salad bhi tha.........

Laloo Bhaiyya Gets Job

Laloo Prasad sent his Bio Data - to apply for a post in Microsoft Corporation, USA.

A few days later he got this reply:

Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,

You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence. No phone call shall be entertained.

Thanks

Bill Gates.

Laloo Prasad jumped with joy on receiving this reply.

He arranged a press conference :

"Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jaan kar khushi hogee ki hum ko Amereeca mein naukri mil gayee hai."

Everyone was delighted.

Laloo prasad continued...... "Ab hum aap sab ko apnaa appointment Letter padkar sunaongaa ? par letter angreeze main hai - isliyen saath-saath Hindi main translate bhee karoonga.

Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad ----- Pyare Laloo prasad bhaiyya

You do not meet ----- aap to miltay hee naheen ho

our requirement ----- humko to zaroorat hai

Please do not send any furthur correspondance ----- ab Letter vetter bhejne ka kaouno zaroorat nahee.

No phone call ----- phoonwa ka bhee zaroorat nahee hai

shall be entertained ----- bahut khaatir kee jayegi.

Thanks ----- aapkaa bahut bahut dhanyavad.

Bill Gates. ---- Tohar Bilva.

The prime Minister of China called President Bush to console him after the attack on the Pentagon:

'I'm sorry to hear about the attack. It is a very big tragedy. But in case you are missing any documents from the Pentagon, we have copies of everything.'

George Bush in a School

George Bush goes to a primary school to give a speech.

After his talk he offers question time.

One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him what his name is. "Bob".

"And what is your question, Bob?"

"I have 3 questions. First, Why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, Why are you President when Kerry got more votes? And Third, What happened to Osama Bin Laden?"

Just then the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.

When they resume George says, "OK, where were we?

Oh that's right --- question time. Who has a question?"

A different little boy puts up his hand . George points him out and asks him what his name is. "Steve"

"And what is your question, Steve?"

"I have 5 questions. First, Why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, Why are you President when Kerry got more votes? Third, What happened to Osama Bin Laden? Fourth, Why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early?! And Fifth, Where is "Bob"? !!

Musharraf calls Bush on 11th sept:

Musharraf: Mr President, I would like to express my condolences to you. It is a real tragedy. So many people, such great bldgs... I would like to ensure that we had nothing in connection with that..

Bush: What buildings? What people??

Musharraf: Oh, and what time is it in America now?

Bush: It's eight in the morning.

Musharraf: Oops...Will call back in an hour!

The British PM and the US President are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, 'Isn't that The British PM and the US President?'

The barman says 'Yep, that's them.' So the guy walks over and says, 'Hello, what are you guys doing?'

The British PM says, 'We're planning world war 3'

The guy says, 'Really? What's going to happen?'

And the US President says, 'Well, we're going to kill 14 million Pakistanis and one bicycle repairman.'

And the guy exclaimed, 'A bicycle repairman?!! !'

The British PM turns to US President and says, 'See, I told you no-one would worry about the 14 million Pakistanis!'

Politicians on the moon:

Q: What do you call 1 Politician on the moon?

A: Problem....

Q: What do you call 10 Politicians on the moon?

A: Problem...

Q: What do you call a 100 Politicians on the moon?

A: Problem...

Q: What do you call ALL the Politicians on the moon? A: ...... Problem Solved!!!

A man is! taking a walk in Central park in New York . Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog.

He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life..

A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: 'You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers:

'Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl'.

The man says: 'But I am not a New Yorker!'

Oh then it will say in newspapers in the morning:

'Brave American saves life of little girl' the policeman answers.

'But I am not an American!' - says the man.. Oh, what are you then?'

The man says: 'I am a Pakistani!'

The next day the newspapers say: 'Extremist kills innocent American dog

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