Airline Jokes

Q: What do pilots eat?

A: Plane biscuits.!

The flight attendant asks a cannibal in First Class: "Would you like to see the menu?"
And the cannibal responds: "No. Can I see the passenger list? Thank you!"

A farmer and his wife went to a fair. The farmer was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost.

"$10 for 3 minutes," replied the pilot.

"That's too much," said the farmer.

The pilot thought for a second and then said, "I'll make you a deal. If you and your wife ride for 3 minutes without uttering a sound, the ride will be free. But if you make a sound, you'll have to pay $10."

The farmer and his wife agreed and went for a wild ride. After they landed, the pilot said to the farmer, "I want to congratulate you for not making a sound. You are a brave man."

"Maybe so," said the farmer, "But I gotta tell ya, I almost screamed when my wife fell out."

A man telephoned an airline office in New Delhi and asked, How long does it take to fly to Australia?

The Clerk said, "Just a minute...." "Thank you!" the man said and hung up.

Passenger asked a flight attendant, "How high is this plane, Miss?"

The flight attendant replied, "About thirty-two thousand feet."

The passenger's jaw dropped in amazement. "Who'd have belive it? And could you tell me how wide it is?"

A young and stupid pilot wanted to sound cool on the aviation frequencies So, when he was approaching a field during the nighttime, instead of making any official request to the tower, he said, "Guess Who?"

The Controller switched the field lights off and replied: "Guess Where!"

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