Businessmen Jokes
A businessman walked into a New York City bank and asked loan of $5,000. The loan officer said the bank would need some security for such a loan.
The business man then handed over the keys to a Rolls Royce that was parked on the street
Two days latert The business man replied: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for fifteen bucks?"
10 REASONS WHY LIQUOR SHOULD BE SERVED AT WORK:
- It's an incentive to show up.
- It leads to more honest communications.
- It reduces complaints about low pay.
- Employees tell management what they think, not what they want to hear.
- It encourages car pooling.
- Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care.
- It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
- It makes fellow employees look better (Beauty lies in the eyes of the Beerholder!)
- It makes the canteen / cafeteria / mess food taste better.
- Bosses are more likely to hand out raises ....
Kanjoos: Yeh banana kaisay diya?
Shopkeeper: 1Rs.
Kanjoos: 60 Paisa ka deta hai?
S.K: 60 paise mein to sirf chilka milega.
Kanjoos:Ley 40 paisay, chilka rakh aur kela day de.
Kanjoos on his death time.
My wife, where r u ?
Wife:Yes, I‘m here
My sons daughters ru all here?
Yes, Papa
Kanjoos:To phir bahar wale kamre
ka pankha Q chal raha hay ??? :-) :-)
Kanjoos 14th floor se neche gira
Girte waqt usne
apni ghar ki khirki me
apni wife ko roti pakate hue dekha
to chilla k bola
MERI ROTI NAHI PAKANA!
Kanjoos ne sheikh ko khoon dey k uski jaan bachai.
Sheikh ne usay MERCEDEZ gift kardi.
Sheikh ko phir khoon ki zarorut pari,
Kanjoos ne phir khoon diya.
Ab ki bar Sheikh ne till wale laddu gift kiye,
Kanjoos:Ghusse se, mercedez kyon nahi di?
Sheikh:Munna .. Ab hamarey ander bhi Kanjoos ka khoon daur raha hai :-)
Kanjoos called a newspaper office and asked: Mera Chacha Mar gaya hai, kya charges hongay?
NewsPaper: Rs.50 per word.
Kanjoos: Oh bohat ziyada hain, Acha likho "Chacha Guzar Gaye".
Newspaper: Sir! It should be minimum 6 words!
Kanjoos: Oh ho! Jara sochnay do..... Acha likho....... ......... .
Chacha Guzar Gaye - Maruti for Sale ..
Kanjoos asks a Taxi Driver: CP wale gurudware jayega kya?
Taxi Driver: Han jaon ga.
Kanjoos ne jaib se lunchbox nikala or kaha:
Wapsi main langar ka khana lete aana.
Kanjoos ko bhoot charh gaya ,
3 din baad bhoot khud ek ojha k paas gaya aur bola,
Ojha sahab mujhe bahar Nikalo..! Warna me to bhookha hi mar jaon ga
Titanic K Sath Kanjoos Bhi Doob Raha Tha
Aur Hans Bhi Raha Tha
Dost: Oye Hans Kyun Raha Hai?
Kanjoos: Shukar Hai Main Ne Return Ticket Nahi Khareeda
A Kanjoos, Mr. Keswani, married with no money, no home and a blind mother prayed to God daily over a period of several months.
Finally, God responds to Mr. Keswani saying that God is happy with Mr. Keswani's prayers and that God will grant Mr. Keswani one, only one wish.
Mr. Keswani then wished, 'Dear God, I wish that my mother will see my wife putting gold and diamond bangles on my child's hands in our new mansion.'
God muttered, 'Damn; I've made these Kanjooss too intelligent.'
Musharraf calls Bush on 11th sept:
Musharraf: Mr President, I would like to express my condolences to you. It is a real tragedy. So many people, such great bldgs... I would like to ensure that we had nothing in connection with that..
Bush: What buildings? What people??
Musharraf: Oh, and what time is it in America now?
Bush: It's eight in the morning.
Musharraf: Oops...Will call back in an hour!
The British PM and the US President are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, 'Isn't that The British PM and the US President?'
The barman says 'Yep, that's them.' So the guy walks over and says, 'Hello, what are you guys doing?'
The British PM says, 'We're planning world war 3'
The guy says, 'Really? What's going to happen?'
And the US President says, 'Well, we're going to kill 14 million Pakistanis and one bicycle repairman.'
And the guy exclaimed, 'A bicycle repairman?!! !'
The British PM turns to US President and says, 'See, I told you
no-one would worry about
the 14 million Pakistanis!'
Politicians on the moon:
Q: What do you call 1 Politician on the moon?
A: Problem....
Q: What do you call 10 Politicians on the moon?
A: Problem...
Q: What do you call a 100 Politicians on the moon?
A: Problem...
Q: What do you call ALL the Politicians on the moon? A: ...... Problem Solved!!!
A man is! taking a walk in Central park in New York . Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog.
He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life..
A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: 'You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers:
'Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl'.
The man says: 'But I am not a New Yorker!'
Oh then it will say in newspapers in the morning:
'Brave American saves life of little girl' the policeman answers.
'But I am not an American!' - says the man.. Oh, what are you then?'
The man says: 'I am a Pakistani!'
The next day the newspapers say: 'Extremist kills innocent American dog
Contribute Jokes